One big part of the leadership game is all about influence. Your net worth is your network and so it pays to give focus to the relationships you are building.

As well as building genuine connections with key influencers, it is also important to consider that you are an influencer too.

I do a lot of work on this with my 121 clients. I get energy from building deep and genuine relationships and connecting people and sharing those successful strategies with others.


I have been on the receiving end of some influencer tactics that didn’t work for me at all.

Here are a few, feel free to add your own in the comments!

1. Happy hooking – this is where someone will give the impression that they are interested in you but quickly move the conversation to their agenda. A recent example was where someone booked a discovery call with me but clearly just wanted something from me rather than expressing any genuine interest in working with me!

2. Me centred outreach – when the first interaction you have with someone is them asking something of you, the energy feels all off. Genuine relationships start with how you can help someone else. An example of this is messages asking for lots of free 121 time and advice. I’m happy to give my time to help people for free but that’s what The Courageous Leaders Club is for.

3. The assumptive connection – I’m still surprised by how many times I am sent a friend request then added to a group without even being asked. It’s a sure fire way to put me off from wanting to connect. As netiquette peeves go, it’s one of the highest.

4. The unsolicited guru – I completely respect the strengths and expertise of others, particularly if I know nothing about their field. But when it’s given to me without me asking for it, AND it feels like I’m being told off, it gets my goat a tad! I’m all for feedback and am totally open to it, but not when made to feel like a naughty school girl.

Influencer tactics

So what to do instead?

1. When connecting with someone, first consider how you can help them.

2. Think about how else you could ask for information and advice in a way that will benefit others.

3. Think about whether you’d like to be approached in that way before taking action.

4. When giving advice, less finger wagging and more ‘this could really help you because.’

What influencer tactics leave you cold?

If this is an area you need help with let’s book in a time to chat. We can explore a strategy that gets you connecting with the right people for the right reasons, in the right way. My 121 opens again at the end of September.


Helen xx

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