I have a confession to make. I’ve been ‘highlighting’ quite a bit recently.

Do you do it?

It’s when your business necessitates that you show up, but your content isn’t reflecting what’s actually going on in life and business right now.

Yep that’s me. Guilty as charged.

Like everyone else, I have a multitude of challenging things happening in my life at the moment. Poorly parents, poorly friends, ongoing separation stuff, a child that doesn’t sleep, my own health stuff. 

I get lots of messages from lovely people on Instagram and Facebook who congratulate me on what I am doing and achieving, which I am ever so grateful for. But as with anything, that’s only one side of the story, and I do feel like I haven’t been showing a 360 view of late.

And I am ALL about the 360 view!

I might normally send an email explaining how I am using positive mindset approaches to bust through these challenges, but sometimes doing the opposite is important too. 

Here are a few ways I’m doing that right now instead.

  1. Saying no. I have said no to quite a few things recently. Speaking gigs, interviews, guest sessions, meetings. Being relentlessly visible. Have I had moments where I have felt gutted to pass up such opportunities? Yes. But I have also learnt to listen to myself and look after my mental and physical health and well being by prioritising nourishing activities and saying yes to less.
  2. Going off the grid. I have spent large chunks of time offline (particularly off Facebook), away from any noise that can add to overwhelm. This has caused a conflict with my visibility and engagement but has been essential to prioritise quiet time and working through essential things without distraction. 
  3. Operating on the minimum effective dose. I have to credit Dan Meredith for this term. It basically means setting a minimum level of work required to keep moving forward. So a minimum amount of ‘showing up’ and what that looks like, the minimum amount of work complete in a day etc. Once your capacity/energy levels expand you can increase it again. 
  4. Being kind to myself. Saying no to speaking gigs might seem an incredibly detrimental thing for me to do as a speaker coach! But even I get nervous with everything involved in preparing for and delivering a talk. So I have had to weigh up the pros and cons and in some instances, have concluded that not speaking is going to be better for my energy levels and time. Making these decisions requires being incredibly kind to yourself, because a voice inside your head will always be saying ‘look what you have missed out on by saying no!’ Being kind to yourself also means looking after yourself and giving yourself what you need. Whether that be an early night, a journalling or meditation session or something else kind and nourishing. 

So sometimes saying yes isn’t the best solution. Saying no and being ok about that is perfectly fine too. 

So I’m taking a break in my ‘highlighting’ to be real and honest, and I’d love to know what you think about it and how much you do it when you have challenging stuff happening in your life.

Much love

Helen x

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