It was New Year’s Day. The snacks were out, the kids were excited, and The Traitors was back on our screens.
Within minutes, one contestant had completely captured my attention, not for drama, but for her title.
Dr Yin Lü introduced herself as a Communication Scientist and Rhetoric Doctor..
As someone who coaches leaders on communication and influence, I sat up.
This was someone who didn’t just do communication, she studied it.
Analysed it.
Lived and breathed it.
So when she was murdered in the first episode, I was genuinely disappointed.
I wanted to understand her perspective on how communication actually works, especially under pressure.
That’s why I invited her onto Words That Change Lives, and what followed was one of the most thought-provoking conversations I’ve had.
You can listen here https://podfollow.com/words-that-change-lives
Here’s what every leader can take from it:
1. Communication isn’t just about what you say, it’s about how it lands.
Dr Yin introduced the concept of the “arc of distortion”,the gap between your intention and the impact your message actually has on someone else. Most leaders assume their message is clear, but clarity on your end doesn’t equal clarity on theirs.
Great communication is about reducing that distortion, over and over again.
I can’t tell you how much this hit me! And has stayed with me since.
2. Emotion is not the ‘soft’ part of communication, it’s the foundation.
We often treat emotion as something secondary. Yin argues it’s the delivery vehicle of communication. Information may be processed, but emotion is what drives action.
3. Approach communication like a scientist: observe, test, iterate.
Yin’s PhD research analysed over 10 million tweets during the Brexit campaign, studying what rhetorical tools triggered action. She brings that same analytical mindset to everyday communication:
- What signals is your audience giving you?
- Are you listening more than you’re speaking?
- Are you adapting based on feedback, tone, body language?
The best communicators aren’t just charismatic, they’re strategic, curious, and humble enough to adjust.
Watch the conversation here https://youtu.be/L__d0eccNUw
So, what does The Traitors have to do with leadership?
Yin breaks down the show as a perfect metaphor for modern influence:
- Faithfuls operate with transparency, but have limited narrative power.
- Traitors have control over the story, and less visibility.
- Producers shape the whole environment, yet remain mostly unseen.
It’s a powerful analogy for power and communication in organisations.
As a leader, are you visible but powerless in your storytelling?
Or are you shaping the narrative from behind the scenes?
Final thought: Influence is soft power. And soft power is everything.
Hard power (authority, hierarchy) may get compliance, but soft power wins hearts and minds.
Yin reminded me that true influence is about resonance, not dominance.
You can listen to our full conversation here: https://podfollow.com/words-that-change-lives
Or watch our chat here
And if you’re leading a team and want to improve how you influence, send me an email hello@helenpackham.com or book in a time to talk.
https://helenpackham.as.me/leadershipconsultingcall
I run strategic leadership executive coaching programmes and my leadership development programme ‘strategic influence’ has been delivered to over 100 senior leaders and counting!
I’d love to support you.
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