We’ve all heard it, and maybe even said it ourselves:
“I’ve always struggled with anxiety.”
“I just don’t think I’m good enough.”
“I’ve never been confident.”
What we don’t realise is how these throwaway comments form the core of our identity and limit our growth.
“I’ve always struggled with anxiety” ….
…was a story I told myself for many years and one that is so ingrained it feels like a fundamental part of the fabric of my inner world.
And because of this, for many years I let it take over my every thought and feeling. It took up a lot of space inside my brain and how I spoke to myself.
It was the catalyst for me running away from my corporate career. It held me back from moves that would have built my confidence.
It wasn’t until a lot of learning, rewiring and deep work, that I realised how I spoke to myself was the key to a lot of what happened in the outer world.
You may be able to relate.
And if that sounds familiar, those words carry a heavy weight… and they could be holding you back more than you realise.
In a recent conversation with performance coach Adam Smith, we explored how deeply entrenched language patterns can become self-fulfilling prophecies.
Often inherited from our families or shaped by cultural norms, these phrases quietly build an internal narrative of inadequacy, shame, and limitation.
As leaders, this impacts more than just our inner world. It influences how we lead, how we show up, and how we relate to others, especially in times of stress or vulnerability.
Key takeaways:
- Inherited language creates invisible limitations. The way our parents spoke, even casually, often becomes our default setting.
- Validation-seeking is a survival strategy. Many high achievers are unknowingly trying to prove their worth, chasing acknowledgment they never received.
- One question can change everything: “What’s a more helpful thought?”
If we can shift our internal language, no matter how small, we can unlock entirely new levels of leadership, resilience, and connection.
Listen to the full episode here: https://podfollow.com/words-that-change-lives
Or watch here https://youtu.be/YATegZ42pbM
And if you’re navigating this challenge with your team or yourself, send me an email hello@helenpackham.com I’d love to help.
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