I was speaking to a new client the other day, and she was having a Mummy moment that I can really relate to. She was being pushed and pulled by so many emotions that she didn’t know what to do with herself. Some gentle coaching soon uncovered the complex mix that was coming up for her.
Here’s how it went:
‘I feel guilty.
I have just started to put ideas together for my new business but feel torn. My passion for these new ideas mean that I am now thinking about things other than my two children and husband. Surely that isn’t right, they should be top priority all the time right?! Am I being selfish?
I feel crushed by self-doubt.
My new plans are bringing all sorts of doubts up for me. What do I know? Who would want to pay me for my services? Who am I to take this type of risk? What if it doesn’t succeed?’
I feel overwhelmed.
How on earth am I going to find the time and energy to dedicate quality focus to my children, business and her relationship? Surely it just isn’t possible?
We paused for a few minutes of Mindfulness meditation before I offered some reassurance. All the things she was experiencing were completely natural and to be expected. I went through the exact same thought process, and it is something that still requires regular reflection time!
As Mums, feelings such as guilt, lack of confidence and stress are evident even before we start to build businesses. With this in mind, it is empowering and fantastic to know that we CAN think and feel differently. Our thoughts are just thoughts. They aren’t us. This means that we can choose to think and feel differently and start to develop rock solid beliefs about our capabilities. Having a mindset of abundance also helps us to prioritise the things that matter so that we can find the time and energy for anything we choose.
Sound too good to be true? Here are a few tips that have helped me develop the foundations of a Mum Boss mindset:
1. Cultivate deep compassion for yourself
The next time you feel guilty about having desires and passions that fall outside of parenthood and family life, stop and explore what is coming up for you. What is the reason behind the guilt? If it helps, list all the things you have done in the past week for your partner/family and children. Next explore your feeling towards your children. You love them more than life itself right? Trust yourself that you are an incredible parent by developing kindness towards yourself. The generations of ancestral guilt won’t be helping here. It is possible to fulfill your desires and be a great parent. It’s ok, and will actually serve your kids better. They will get the best of you if you are feeling fulfilled. They will also see that you are focused, determined, and are providing for their future!
2. Unlock your genius
Do you remember a time when you sat down to update your CV and after completing the exercise, you were pretty chuffed on all the things you had done in your job since the last time you updated it? It is so easy to forget the heaps of amazing experience we are gathering every single day. You are an absolute mine for knowledge and expertise, I guarantee it you just need to be reminded of how awesome you are!
To help with this, get out your journal and write down all the work experience and qualifications you have. What training courses, have you been on, what projects have you completed, what work challenges have you overcome? What have you achieved? Next list all your life events that you have learned things from. It could be going to college, getting married, overcoming health challenges, difficult relationships, becoming a parent, the list goes on. What skills and experience have you picked up from your life? I bet it’s a huge amount! This is the beginning of developing a mindset where you unlock the confidence that was already there.
3. Get time and energy smart
I often find that finding the time and energy for things starts with the mindset towards it. Gay Hendricks author of the Big Leap explained, that when a child asks us to play with them when we are doing something else, we might say that we don’t have the time at the moment. If a child has had accident and needs our time then we would drop what we are doing in an instant!
So really in order to be able to find the energy and time we think we don’t have, it is a good idea to start by identifying what you don’t WANT to do or what you might be putting off because there is something else that you are worried about. If you feel you don’t have the time or energy to start a business then explore why that is. Are you scared of failure? Are you concerned that you might not make the money you need? Look to resolve these inner objections first. This is step one to building a mindset of abundant time.
Grab my Ebook!
Would you like to cultivate a mindset of abundant time? Then grab my jam packed Ebook, full of time and energy claiming exercises to enable you to achieve everything you desire. You can download it right here.